Transcript from an Indian phone call

The following is a composite transcript of numerous calls I have received, the core content of which I am sure is familiar to any ex-pat in India.

The phone rings and the ex-pat answers (my part is italicised for ease of explanation)


Hello. (phone voice)

Hello.

Hello! (welcoming voice)

Hello.

Hello? (questioning voice)

Hello.

Helloooo (haunting voice)

Hello.

Haylo! (comedy high pitched voice)

Hello.

Heeeelaaah. (sinister voice)

Hello

Aaaargh! Look Dude, you called me. Agreed?

Ergo, you must have an idea of who I am whereas I have absolutely no idea of who you are.

So, are you going to tell me who is calling or are we going to continue this pointless conversation ad infinitum hmmm?

Hello.

Click, crash……… (Sound of disengaged blackberry being thrown across room in frustration)